The Other Day

I decided to dance. I was on a trip to Chicago with my show choir, and music was playing in a restaurant. Here I am, this little chubby girl who is uncomfortable with her body in every day, and I decide that I should dance. I can't dance in any way, but I want to. So.. I stand up and start thrashing like I do. Soon enough, everyone around me is dancing as well, and before I know it the whole restaurant is dancing to an Abba song. I had nearly ten people thank me at the end of the night, as they said they were wanting to do the same thing but didn't have the courage. Isaiah 41:13- "For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." When I was thinking about dancing, I kept hearing the final phrase in this verse: "Do not fear; I will help you." Maybe if more people didn't fear the unknown, we wouldn't have so many social taboos and other problems. I think we all need to start dancing, and then things will finally be as God wanted them.

How's That Homework Going?

Uh.. That homework.. Yeah.. I.. Uh.. Well.. My nails look cute!

I'm having trouble focusing. I can't think of things right now. I'm busy thinking about my nails, my hair, my prom dress, my date, my shoes, my makeup, and EVERYTHING WORLDLY. I need to stop right now, and begin thinking about God. What can I take with me when I finally am chosen to meet my Lord? Not my hair or my nails of my dress or my shoes.. I can only take my love for Him. 

Oh, and here's a picture of my nails. Terrible quality, but whatever.

They're short, but I recently stopped biting them. They're currently red with red glitter tipping them. I like thinking of them as Dorothy's red shoes from The Wizard of Oz. They also match my show choir dress.

Anyway, I have to go. I love you, pretend readers.

Oh boy oh boy..

Oh gosh.. I think everything changed. I'm really not sure if this is the right color font I used or not. Eh, whatever. I'm sorry that I haven't blogged in a while, but I've been so busy lately that blogging was the last thing on my mind. With the end of the semester, a show choir trip coming up, three research papers flying at me, and summer college visitations, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I need to learn to let God take charge like I always do, but maybe I need to learn how to manage my time. God promised us eternal life, and here I am worried about how I'm going to finish some papers. Hm. As for right now, however, I'm going to walk up the stairs and go to sleep. Goodnight, pretend readers!

Toddlers & Tiaras

makes me laugh. These little girls are dolled up and coated in makeup. I lose it every time I see a screaming child walk on stage. All these little girls I see seem to have really strange names. The little girl I'm watching right now is named Alaska.. I don't understand! Anyway, the mothers and fathers of these little girls are teaching their daughters to sass them and layer foundation on themselves. I enjoy myself a good pageant, I was even in one this summer. What I don't understand, however, is how these parents are willing to teach their daughters that it doesn't matter how they act, as long as they put on a stage face and makeup, they're fine. Sometimes I feel like I do that with God. I put on my smiling face and think, "Hey, God.. I have things alright down here, but I'd just need a little help here and there.." WRONG. We need God in every aspect of our life. We need to stop putting up facades and instead throw ourselves on our knees and ask for help. I know for me, personally, I have a problem letting anyone help me, including God. This seems to be a huge dilemma, as nothing can be better than bowing down and letting God in. So, maybe instead of smothering their daughters with makeup, these parents should teach them to smother themselves with God. 1 Peter 5:7, "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."

Back in Government..

I'm learning about all different leaders of the world. I can't help but yawn and stretch as I think about my upcoming presentation on Gandhi. Last night was one of the most eventful nights in the history of mankind. I had four - count them - FOUR boys tell me that I was beautiful and that they were in to me. I just proclaimed that I was searching for God, not a boy, and BAM. EVERYONE IS ALL UP ON ME. I don't know what to do right now, but I'm sure that if i keep praying I'll find out. I keep recalling a verse I was sent by my big sister, which states "So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." -2 Timothy 2:22. I like this verse because it reminds me to throw away my petty love interests and really search God. Not only does God call us to pursue him, but also a worth man that also is pursuing the same thing. So maybe I should just wait. I'm sure God knows what's gonna happen.

This Is Where the Hairstyles Come In...

I'm on a neverending quest to stop biting my nails. I've bitten them FOREVER. I've prayed for the strength to stop this along with many more bad habits I've taken to. I finally felt a surge of power, and now I'm painting them like crazy so I won't bite them. I've fallen IN LOVE with different kinds of nail polish, and I've taken a liking to different kinds..
The Sally Hanson Nail Strips are AMAZING. They make it possible to have all sorts of different patterns quickly and easily without the mess. I have really short nails, (those in the picture aren't mine,) and I can easily get two manicures out of a box. They're expensive for me, but they're definitely worth it. If you put a base coat on your nails and then apply the strip while it's sill wet, they will stick for a long time too!

I am in love with this color. It's currently on my fingers and toes, and I can't stop looking at it. This is where my blog of the day ends. Goodbye, invisible readers, and God bless. :)

When I Was Little,

I never wanted to be Barbie. I wanted to be a truck driver, an elephant, a lawyer, a doctor, a fireman, a clown, a hair stylist, and a cat. Being a classy woman never really was appealing to me until recently. The only thing I ever wanted to do was change the world in as many ways as possible. It was only until about two years ago that I was convinced it was logical to be the worlds most amazing multi-tasker. When I realized that I couldn't possibly do all these things, I was a little devastated. How could I have worked so hard to keep my grades up and my sports in order and my music together, only to have my world crash down on me? Looking back on this, I realize how foolish I was. No one can do all of these things! Wrong. God can do everything, and He knows what I'm going to do. No matter what I try, I understand that he will lead me to doing the correct thing with my life, even if it is becoming an elephant or a cat. We need to stop worrying about the future and just realize that God already knows exactly what we are going to do tomorrow and the day after. Maybe if we stopped questioning what was going to happen, we could live our lives for Him instead of ourselves.

Today, I am going to change the world.
I am going to go outside and
plant a seed, then
open the door for a woman, then
paint a fence, then
carry groceries in for a man, then
teach a child mathematics, then
introduce two strangers, then
build a garage, then
open a business, then
become the mayor, then
turn into a supermodel, then
make a million dollars, then
climb Mount Everest, then
conquer a nation, then
form an army, then
rule the world.
But then what.. Then what will I do?
Then maybe I'll give up my rule,
I'll climb off of Everest,
I'll lose my beautiful supermodel body,
I'll pass on my business,
I'll go home,
I'll walk past my tree,
I'll go back inside,
I'll get on my knees, bow my head, and
I'll pray to my God, and
I'll change the world the right way.

RuPaul's Drag Race

is quite possibly one of my favorite television shows ever. I don't know if it's wrong to love drag queens or homosexuals, but I sure don't feel like it is. These men love being themselves so much that they are willing to put their personalities on show for the world to see. Even being homosexual, they still confess their love to the Lord, which I envy. They are so comfortable being themselves in front of everyone without hesitation. The men know that God made them the way they are, and they're determined to show the world that they were crafted with precision. I wish I had the confidence to tell people that I was made correctly by MY God like they do. I also wish I could prance across stage looking gorgeous for a few minutes and that I could yell "WORK" when I got excited. I need to find the confidence of these men, and you do too, pretend readers! One of my favorite verses, Hebrews 10:35-36 states, "Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised." This is a great verse to remember whenever you encounter a situation that makes you question your faith or self esteem. God made you correctly, so why not flaunt it? You don't have to be prancing in a gorgeous gown, but a little bit of confidence goes a long way. :)

I'm Sitting in Government

and I can't help but think, "Why am I here?" I understand that China's culture is solid. I know that they're a huge contributor to the rice market of the world. I live in America, WHY DO I HAVE TO KNOW THESE THINGS? Suddenly my professor asks, "Do you know how I met my wife?" We don't, and he proceeds to tell us a quaint story of how he was on the official Star Wars forum and got in a fight with a young woman over Anakin Skywalker, resulting in a relationship and soon after a marriage. He then proceeded to tell us that love was everywhere. I began thinking about how God can lead us to anyone, and can lead anyone to us. I need to learn about these diverse things because God might just send me love through a bowl of rice or Anakin Skywalker or even a journey to the other side of the world. God has these plans for everyone, and we need to start listening to them. Maybe instead of focusing on only my music, I could read the Bible and learn how to use this music to further praise Him. I'll stew on this more later though, as right now I'm learning how to properly paint a koi fish using only the finest inks in China.

Oh, the Difficulties of Being a Teenager..

Growing up is always a difficult task for everyone, especially when children are forced to mature more quickly than they naturally would. The winter semester of my junior year of high school, I decided I would grab a jump start on my life and begin taking college classes at the nearest community college. Being a prospective music major, I figured this was the best idea, as I could get my general education classes out of the way. Oh, did I mention they were FREE? I knew this was a wonderful idea, and things are going splendidly. However, being thrown into the college cycle halfway through my high school career,I quickly realized that while being mature for my age, I wasn't ready for the attitude college brought. I now have boys asking for my number, teachers that swear, and the outlandish ability to leave my sleeves at home and go to school wearing a tank top. (GASP, that isn't allowed in my tiny hometown!)As soon as these things started occurring, I noticed myself slipping into the "college" lifestyle. I started swearing more frequently, I was disobedient and lazy, and I wasn't doing my work anymore. I just recently connected these actions to how my lifestyle with God was turning out. I was tired and lacking ambition to learn more from Him. Being in high school can be fun, but plenty of responsibilities are dumped on kids without remorse because they are in their "prime." If we look to God for help with these responsibilities, maybe we won't be forced to grow up so quickly. My pretend readers, I challenge you today to ask God for help with your daily routine, and to attempt to glorify Him in everything you do.

I Feel Like This is a Bad Idea..

But sometimes I just need to get things out while I'm thinking of them. I'm reading a book called Lady In Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones. This book was gifted to me by one of my best friends/ "big sister." A while back, I watched as my sister fully committed herself to God and found who she really was in the process. Frankly, I was jealous. I was this crude, disgusting person that no one wanted to deal with. Depression overtook my life, and even my boyfriend of two years couldn't pull me out of the hole I was in. It took losing friends and my boyfriend to finally see how much I needed to change. Upon receiving this book, I fell in love. The writing style is easy to follow, and the lessons are AMAZING. The book is about waiting for the perfect man while searching for God. Everything I have read so far is directly applicable to life, and I can already feel God working wonders in my daily routine. I'm super excited to read more. I haven't felt this at peace with myself in a long time. Side note: I rollerbladed today! Summer is coming quickly, and I cannot wait!

I've Been Told..

"The best way to learn is to teach." - Frank Oppenheimer

I've always laughed at this statement, thinking about my mother teaching some thirty-odd kindergarteners how to write their "a's" with little flourish, only to sign her name with a large curl and flair at the end. Nonetheless, I've decided that in my recent quest for God, I should blog. I'm not looking for people to follow me or anything like that, but rather a place where I can post my thoughts and ideas during this journey. I wasn't raised in a big Christian setting, I never went to Sunday school, I don't know the Bible stories, and no, I didn't know The Lord's Prayer until I was forced to say it before every volleyball game I partook in. I am literally starting from ground zero. My boyfriend of two years left me, I'm getting ready for college, why not have another big change? I'm not planing on thumping Bibles or pushing people out of my life, but rather finding new ways to reform what I already know based on God's plans for me. I know finding God will result in finding myself, so I feel this is the best for me.